Give Hope
Give and receive the gift of hope on Giving Tuesday
With Thanksgiving just behind us now, I’ve recently been able to sit in what “thankfulness” means this year. This… crazy year. This year’s definitely been tough for all of us, and I know there are many out there who are struggling to find even a millimeter of silver lining in a year packed full of… well… suffering.
I truly feel blessed to be able to say I have much to be grateful for. That said, what I’ve realized is that much of my state of gratitude is tied to what I believe about what comes after suffering.
I’m living in a state of gratefulness today in anticipation of thankfulness yet to come.
And, I want to make space for others to join me.
So, what exactly do I mean by that?
Like many others, I predicted that regardless of the outcome of the election, the following months would be the most stressful time of 2020 (and perhaps 2021). In my post “Backseat Brain”, I sought to share perspective based on neuroscience that can help navigate the impact that uncertainty and sense of threats have on us as human beings. Yet, we still have months to go, and I’m writing about the anticipation of thankfulness? Let me explain.
“… because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us…“
Most, if not all of us, have suffered through tragedy.
Many during this year.
Most prior to this year.
And, while suffering is never something to be dismissive about or belittled, there is one thing that I know has been true for myself, and I believe is something we can all subscribe to as human beings who’ve experienced suffering.
Suffering makes space for us to grow in ways we wouldn’t (or couldn’t) naturally grow otherwise.
This belief is what has me thankful for what’s to come.
This belief is what tells me that if it is true that I’m persevering through suffering, then it is also true that I’m growing in character with hope for the future.
This belief is what has me thankful for the hope that through this suffering will be born a better version of myself.
This belief is what has me thankful for the hope that this national suffering, global suffering, will make the space needed for a better world.
Perhaps a world better than we would (or could) have built or even imagined before.
Now, I’d love to make space for you and others to join me in future thankfulness in a couple ways - both giving and receiving the gift of hope.
First, while everything I write is always free to read, I’d love to invite you to consider giving the gift of hope by becoming a paid subscriber today. Proceeds are distributed across vetted charities changing the world for the better, and while we already give to each of them ourselves - Erikka and I will be contributing an additional $100 for each of the first 10 new annual subscribers that sign up today (up to $1,000 across these charities).
By opting into a paid subscription, you’re joining others in funneling money into the following philanthropic efforts:
Second, I’d love to continue on from my writing from “Backseat Brain” to offer methods based on neuroscience to aid in the path of perseverance that leads to the personal growth and fruits of hope that do exist on the other side.
Take something off the table.
Your brain is your own personal prediction machine, and absolutely craves certainty. Even in small doses, added uncertainty can pack a punch. While you can do things like organizing your office, setting a stricter bedtime, or committing to a diet to add certainty, another solve for this is to improve clarity. By taking unnecessary unknowns off the table, you can hack your brain into entering a better state during trying times. Say ‘no’ to that meeting or project you’ve been wanting to say ‘no’ to. Stop trying to plan travel during months when you know there’s a good chance travel can’t happen. That big life decision that’s kinda stressful? Like quitting your job, or buying a place, or popping the question? Take it off the table (for now). What might feel like giving up or giving in will actually help your brain soak in a tub of renewed certainty while you persevere to better times.
Claim some freedom.
Just as your brain craves certainty, autonomy is another critical resource for human beings to be their best selves. We all thrive with a healthy amount of the sense that we have some control in our lives and are able to make choices. Rather than grasp desperately after things you can’t control or choices taken from you, lean into and perhaps double down on new freedoms you can claim for yourself. What health choices have you been wanting to try but can’t normally stick to? What financial savings and responsibility can you lean into because you’re not going out or traveling as much? What’s that hobby you’ve wanted to try or think you’ve wanted to learn that you have more time for now because work is lighter (or from home)? What can you do right now, that you’d actually look forward to, that you couldn’t do before? Put that in your foreground, and help yourself persevere through suffering now in the background.
Shed tears with someone you love.
It’s no secret that humans are social beings. I’m an introvert myself, and even I feel the pain without consistent human connection. So, how is it that during a pandemic many of us have experienced both greater isolation than ever before as well as greater Zoom fatigue than ever before? This is because what we need, what we crave to be well as humans, is not measured in quantity of human connection, but quality of human connection. Dozens of 30-60 minute Zoom calls can’t do for your mind and soul what one deep conversation with someone you care about can. Talk to someone you love about something thats… deep. Something that’s emotional, moving, maybe even draining (but in a good way). Perhaps something secret. Perhaps something uncomfortable. Definitely something that… actually matters. Shed tears with someone you love, talking deeply about something to the point of laughing your way there together, or crying your way there together. Connecting deeply with someone you love on something that matters will help you feel more connected and supported as you persevere through suffering - likely more than you know.
For more on the science behind navigating uncertainty and suffering, as well as links to more resources, please check out my previous post - “Backseat Brain”.
Thanks for considering a gift of hope through a subscription or direct to charity.
Please receive the gift of hope through the belief in your own perseverance.
You’ve got this. We’ve got this.
Be well.
If you were moved by this post and would like to read more from the author, please subscribe.
Always free to subscribe to all content.
Paid subscriptions support vetted philanthropic efforts.